Are You Arguing Too Much and Loving Too Little?
The Battle of the Sexes: Tips for How to Get Along With the Opposite Sex!
© 2023 Health Realizations, Inc. Update
Since there was man and woman, there’s been the battle of the sexes. It’s not that men and women don’t get along … they do. It’s just that the powers that be is playing a pretty funny joke on mankind, because men and women’s brains are wired completely differently, and that makes for some interesting drama on the home front …
Might arguing be another love emotion after all. Plus there is a new way to enhance and enjoy the benefits of making up, regaining greater joy of intimacy.
“Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult,” writes Michael G. Conner, Psy.D, clinical & medical psychologist, at OregonCounseling.org. “Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties.” He continues:
“Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a lifelong source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually our downfall in a relationship.
Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.”
You are not, however, powerless to make changes for the better in your relationship, and the first step to doing so lies in beginning to understand how your better half thinks.
Men and Women’s Brains Really are Different
If it sometimes feels like talking to your spouse is like talking to an alien from another planet, it’s not all in your head.
In reality, research by psychology professor Richard Haier of the University of California, Irvine and colleagues found that men generally have 6.5 times the gray matter in their brains compared to women, while women have close to 10 times the amount of white matter compared to men.
Gray matter, LiveScience reports, “represents information processing centers, whereas white matter works to network these processing centers.” This appears to have little effect on capacity for intelligence -- both men and women score equally well on intelligence tests and other measures of cognitive ability. Instead, it points to differences in the way men and women think.
In his article, “Understanding The Difference Between Men And Women,” Conner writes:
“Women … have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This … finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain. Women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time.
Nearly every parent has observed how young girls find the conversations of young boys "boring". Young boys express confusion and would rather play sports than participate actively in a conversation between 5 girls who are discussing as many as three subjects at once!”
In the video below Dr. Linda Karges-Bone explains some of the hurdles men and women experience in communicating:
So, how do these differing routes of thinking manifest in daily life?
Thought Processes of Men Vs. Women
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Men
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Women
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Problem Solving
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Men like to retreat into their “cave” when they’re stressed. This allows them a “time out” to mull over the problem or think about something else entirely.
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Women like to talk to others about their problem and mull over solutions until it is solved. When a man retreats to his cave, a woman feels ignored and frustrated that the problem is not getting the attention it deserves.
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Acts of Affection
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John Gray, who wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, suggests that men assign more “points” to “big” acts, such as buying a woman an expensive gift or taking her on a weekend getaway. He feels a big act will support the relationship for a longer period of time.
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Women, Gray counters, actually use a much different scoring system than men realize. They assign one point to every gesture a man makes, whether big or small. What women most appreciate are not occasional “big” gestures, but regular shows of affections, whether big or small.
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Revenge
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When it comes to seeing a fair and trustworthy person harmed, we all feel a sense of empathy. But if that person is perceived as deserving of the harm, men may get a sense of satisfaction, and actually enjoy the person's misfortune, according to a study by University College London.
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Women, however, show empathy when a person is harmed, even if that person was deemed deserving of the harm.
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Sex and Closeness
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Men typically feel closer in a relationship by taking part in shared activities, including sex, sports and other “physical and active” activities.
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Women feel closer by communication and sharing of personal, intimate experiences and emotions.
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John Gray: How Men Communicate
Communication Tips all Couples Can Count On
That men and women march to a different drummer is part of what keeps the relationship so fresh and inviting. So, instead of focusing on your differences, embrace them, and realize that they are what makes you each unique and, ironically, so attractive.
With that in mind, there are tips that every relationship can benefit from when it comes to communication. You can make your relationship stronger and your communication more open by:
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Not expecting your partner to behave and/or think like you do. Expect that there will be differences and respect them. For instance, if your partner wants to take a break from an argument, let the issue go for awhile. Likewise, if your partner wants to keep discussing a disagreement and you don’t, suggest taking an hour break, but agree to continue the discussion later.
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Embracing non-verbal form of communication. A touch on the shoulder or back, hugs and kisses, attentive eye contact and understanding gestures are all forms of staying connected with each other and can make a big difference in the strength of your relationship.
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Letting bygones be bygones. Forgiving your spouse is a way of saying that you know nobody is perfect, including yourself, and that you understand everyone makes mistakes. Forgive, pick up where you left off and move on with life.
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Establishing and keeping your own personal goals and dreams and continue to pursue them so you don’t risk losing your individuality. This will help keep you grounded and maintain self-fulfillment. It’s also important to take time to relax, both on your own and together with your partner, to keep stress levels down and experience the true enjoyment of life.
Focus on making your relationship stronger by:
Good communication is essential to any marriage and communicating openly and honestly about finances, children and your feelings will build a strong bond between the two of you. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Talk to them and let your feelings be known.
A touch on the shoulder or back, hugs and kisses are all forms of staying connected with each other and can make a big difference in the strength of your relationship. Further, one of the BEST ways to improve your intimate life, for both men and women, is the simple lifestyle habit of exercise.
Exercise will not only relieve stress but also helps you feel sexier and increases your self-esteem. This is why we recommend you and your partner engage together in a mind-body fitness program.
Regaining Your Sexual Intimacy and Joy
If having challenges with your sex life it could be high blood sugar levels that actually lead to numerous disruptions that can impact your ability to have a healthy sex life. Aside from decreasing vaginal lubrication, uncontrolled blood glucose can lead to nerve damage that makes it difficult for women to experience sexual stimulation (and also leads to erectile dysfunction in men).
According to the University of Washington, Department of Medicine, study "Urinary incontinence disproportionately affects women and is very common, with prevalence estimates as high as 69% depending upon the definition of incontinence and sample characteristics. Urinary incontinence increases with age and is associated with social isolation and stigmatization, decreased quality of life, depression, and the end of independent living for some elderly women."
"Women with diabetes reported disproportionately more severe incontinence, difficulty controlling urination, mixed (stress and urge) incontinence, use of pads, inability to completely empty the bladder, being unaware of leakage, and discomfort with urination. Diabetes duration, treatment type, peripheral neuropathy, and retinopathy were significantly associated with severe incontinence in multiple regression models adjusted for age, education, and history of UTI; however, additional adjustment for BMI diminished the strength of association" (reduced the symptoms).
Their conclusion: "Urinary incontinence is highly prevalent among postmenopausal women. Women with diabetes are more likely to experience severe and symptomatic urinary incontinence. UTI history is a major risk factor, postvoid residual bladder volume plays no demonstrable role, and BMI confounds the relationship between diabetes and incontinence among healthy postmenopausal women."
Nerve damage, including peripheral neuropathy, is common in people with diabetes, but most often is associated with foot numbness and tingling. However, damage can also occur to nerves in the pelvis, which are necessary for sexual stimulation.
Also excessive relaxation or reduction of control of the vaginal muscles is a common occurrence after vaginal birth, or diabetes, or simply due to aging.
Vaginal atrophy, neuropathy, and or damage can diminish sensation during intercourse, reduce sexual satisfaction and change the relationship between partners.
Laxity of the skin is caused by numerous factors; and no area is immune to this natural decline including the vaginal walls.
It's not great to have that out-of-control feeling about your own body; especially when it affects the most intimate part of your life. Relationships can be challenging under the best of circumstances; you don't need your mind and body fighting each other!
There are noninvasive treatment options to consider. For example applying heat to tissue has become the standard for promoting collagen remodeling, which helps strengthen the structural support columns and improving the integrity of the skin.
ThermiVa treatment is the only temperature controlled radio frequency system, used for non-surgical dermatological application in aesthetics and other medical specialties.
Yes, this has been reported by nearly all patients as being a "painless" vaginal treatment.
ThermiVa is an in-office noninvasive outpatient procedure. Patients have stated wonderful desired results from this new treatment. It’s for the woman who wants such results without surgery to reclaim, restore, and revive her sexual life.
It's said that the vaginal fluids are revitalized as well after this treatment with "most patients experiencing significant increased sexual desire and greater more pleasurable orgasms" according to Dr. Dan Ritacca.
Reclaim your "pre-baby body." Restoring your satisfaction and revive your relationship can be physically and mentally very important plus beneficial. As many men too have stated "happy wife, happy life!"
Click here to make an appointment.
Commitment: To become truly healthy in your relationships in mind, body and spirit requires you each to find and live a life of loving healthy commitments -- first for yourself. Take time for yourself. You must each find and uphold the unconditional love for yourselves with meaningful actions such as daily exercise, be it by yourselves or, when possible, together.
Eat healthy, even when there’s seemingly no time, to nourish your body and mind. Preparation is the key. Learn in advance what is good tasty healthy fast food that's easy and quick. There are easy ways to have five-minute fast health foods as are found in the book “Alive in 5.” You’ll feel better and be more loving both of yourself and others.
As you may have already experienced in prior relationships that didn’t work out the best for you, they likely have some common denominators and or similarities that are often great learning opportunities of how to put yourself first.
Taking care of yourself starts with your health, as good health more than anything else demonstrates your love for yourself. This includes surrounding yourself in a truly healthy environment including the air you breath, wiping your feet at the door on a commercial-grade entrance carpet to stop bacteria, MRSA, etc. from being tracked through your home, and wiping your hands on antimicrobial convenient hand wipes before and after you sneeze or touch public areas so as to not place viruses near your eyes or nose.
These are ways of reminding yourself that you consciously are caring and loving yourself rather than allowing bad habits to harm your health and wellbeing. In essence, they are self love lessons by improving your health and empowering your ability to show love to yourself.
Count the ways you are loving yourself and your body by helping it and others too around you who you love to stay healthy. Again, these are constant reminders that demonstrate that first and foremost you love yourself, which then enables you by origin of your actions to be a better, truly caring, loving person.
Sources
OregonCounseling.org Understanding the Difference Between Men and Women
ScienceDaily.com
LiveScience.com
MarsVenus.com
